Women and the Family
Feminism versus Gender Equality
The Feminist Movement used to propagate the concept of gender equality to fight for access to education for women, as well as political rights. Fast forward a few decades, the term “feminism” has evolved to mean superiority of the female gender, and no longer just one that seeks to remove the exploitation of women. While the modern woman now expects to be treated no different from her male counterparts with regards to her salary and opportunities, the traditional expectations that she has of men remains unchanged.
When looking for a potential partner, she often expects the other party to be a “gentlemen”; to hold the door for her, carry her handbag, move her chair and play the proactive role in the courtship.
The modern woman now wants to have the cake, and eat it.
Definition of Social Role by Gender
Women in my grandmother’s era stayed at home, did all the household chores, gave birth to many kids, took care of the little ones and the elderly at home. My grandfather went out to work and was the sole breadwinner of the large family. Life was hard, but they got by. Women then were quietly playing the supportive role for their husbands, and the word “divorce” was unheard of.
Now, most women continue to work after marriage, and are expected to juggle both the roles of a commited and capable worker, and a responsible mother and loving wife. Both roles require polaric qualities from the same individual, and juggling them proves to be a highly challenging task. The result is that marriages are put under the test, and many fall apart.
Although it is arguable that couples in my grandparents’ era were happier, what is reasonable to conclude is that unions then were more lasting, and roles were simpler and more clearly defined than present.
The Balanced Union
It seems like now we’re confused over our roles in the society. Males demand the ladies to be more rational and financially independent, and the ladies want their partners to be more sensitive. At the same time, ladies should remain soft spoken and preferably submissive, while the men must still be macho and always ready to offer the ladies protection. Oh, how confusing.
When pared to the core, every relationship is about striking some sort of comfortable balance between both parties. In the olden days, this was a lot easier to achieve. Each party had a scripted role to play, and knew exactly how to react to situations and problems in accordance to their “designed” scripts. Few questioned the boundaries of these roles, and even those who did seldom challenged them, preferring to suppress their individualism and conform to social expectations so as to preserve the holy institution of marriage and family.
That’s not to say that it is an impossible task to find that same balance in marriages these days. What it takes though, is a lot more understanding of the self and between partners, as well as greater care in not tipping the balance. With more overlaps between the roles performed by each party, couples need to accept the fact that they now have to learn to give and take, and can no longer expect each other to behave in accordance to their prescribed “gender roles”, just because.
For true gender equality to be recognised, gender has to remain a biological term, not a social term.
